


Tokens of Affection

by Lina_Natsudori



Category: Sailor Moon - All Media Types
Genre: Drabble Collection, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-11
Updated: 2013-09-11
Packaged: 2017-12-26 07:31:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 12,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/963254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lina_Natsudori/pseuds/Lina_Natsudori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabbles. I like to think they progress in quality from my high school to post-college years. Most written for the Usako_Mamoru livejournal community (100 themes list, 1st & 3rd anniversaries)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Problem (Theme #94: Fan Club)

Baka-san," Usagi announced loudly upon entrance into the Arcade. "You have a problem." She practically skipped over to him, gleeful with the realization. "A really _big_ problem."

Mamoru, seated at his usual place at the counter, idly flipped a page unperturbed. "And what's that, Odango?"

"It's a terrible situation to be in," she continued happily, almost oblivious to the question. "And you chose it too! It's quite obvious that there are some larger psychological issues involved here," she proclaimed, peering at him.

He slowly tore his gaze from the page, suddenly of the queasy sinking feeling in his stomach. A malicious glimmer shone in Usagi's eyes as a testament to the accuracy of his instincts and he felt a muted sort of panic set in. "Odango," he said fearfully, eyes locking with hers, "what are you up to?"

"I thought it was obvious." Usagi began to raise her voice, letting it carry throughout the Crown. "You," she stood on a stool and thrust a triumphant finger into the air, "are a lonely person."

He had a _very_ bad feeling that he knew where this was going.

"In fact," she said (she _bellowed_ , Mamoru corrected himself with some horror) "you're _single,_ aren't you _Chiba Mamoru?"_

An eerie silence settled over the Crown as Usagi moved on heedlessly. She slammed a hand down onto the counter with a solid _whump._ "That's _it_ , Baka-san, that's it!"

He wouldn't ask, he wouldn't ask, he wouldn't ask, he wouldn't—he would. It was killing him. He had to ask. "What's it?" he asked cautiously.

The mischievous gleam lit back into Usagi's eye with a vengeance as she inhaled deeply presumably in preparation for something. "You," she whispered into the silence, "need a _girlfriend_."

Had Mamoru not been frozen to the spot, had he had full possession of his inner cognitive workings, he may have reflected that the silence had been the calm before the storm. As it was however, he heard only a dull rushing sound that crescendoed slowly to a roar of screams.

Even Usagi seemed to realized what she done, the gleam leaving her eye as the silverware on the counter began to clatter with the thunder of the approaching feet. She let out a small 'eep' as the stool beneath her began to wobble and she fell to the ground, a mute Mamoru absently steadying her with one hand gripping her arm and the other on the small of her back.

The door opened as woman after woman entered, eyes eagerly seeking out Chiba Mamoru, the finest male specimen in Juuban. Grumbles traveled throughout the room as they found what they sought and began to shake their heads. One woman stood on a table and made a quick swiping motion with her hand.

"It's a no go, girls. Maybe we'll have a shot in a few years."

One by one the exited the Arcade. Somewhere during this exchange, Usagi's hand had fisted in the fabric of Mamoru's sleeve. He turned to her slowly with a wicked half-smile.

"You know Usagi," he drawled, threading one of her pigtails through his fingers. "You're single, aren't you?"

She nodded silently, eyes wide.

"Do you find that to be a very big problem?" he asked, eyes wide with feigned innocence.

Usagi hesitated before, nodding again slowly.

His lips tilted into a wide grin as he tipped his head toward her ear. "Well then, you're in luck," he breathed. "Because Umino just walked in."

Usagi jerked out of her trancelike state with and stared at Mamoru with dismay.

He collected his books and exited the Arcade with a casual flip of his hand. "Ja, Odango."

She stood there for a moment, hesitating, before seeming to come to some sort of resolution. She tore out of the Arcade, shouting.

"Wait, Baka-s-- _Mamoru-san_ , I need your help! I have a problem! A big problem, _huge!"_


	2. Nothing Personal (Theme #75: My soul's shelter)

When Chiba Mamoru was eleven years old, he decided that he didn't believe in a God. It was nothing personal; he just thought that there were other explanations. God did not create the universe, the Big Bang did. Man and woman were not created in God's image, but through years of evolution—from fish to chimpanzees to Cro Magnon to the beings that now lazily walked the streets of Tokyo.

Other explanations. Scientific explanations. _Logical_ explanations.

 _And besides_ , he sometimes reflected in one of his darker moods, _what kind of a God would have taken Mother and Father away?_

That went for all supernatural forces. They didn't have scientific explanations, and Mamoru demand rationale from his life, the things that happened to him. Most of it was a crock anyway, he was convinced. And those that weren't… well, he had better things to do than think about it.

So imagine his irritation one day when a verdant green rose stem thrust itself up from his bloodstream one day. 'Hi, hello, how are you doing? Nice day to challenge all that you believe in, isn't it?' it seemed to say. Mamoru was a student of medicine. And if there was one thing he knew it was that greenery did not sprout from people's skin.

Still, he might have been able to get around it (finding similar traits between plants and Homo sapien, dismissing it as a genetic anomaly… you get the general idea), if it hadn't been for one—no, two things.

Tsukino Usagi and Sailor Moon had popped up in his life one night, disrupting his carefully laid order. He had been determined to maintain control, keeping his life running smoothly without any zany blondes running around to ruin it, but it had been no use.

It was nothing against science—it was just that sometimes, when he saw joy light in Tsukino Usagi's blue eyes or watched Sailor Moon do a triumphant jig in the park, he thought that maybe there was a higher power after all.


	3. What Goes Around (Theme #4: Karma)

Chiba Mamoru grit his teeth as he stared resolutely forward. The usual chatter of the Tokyo streets continued on, uninterrupted, all around him. And yet, he felt as though there was an ominous sort of quiet surrounding him.

Or perhaps he should have said that the silence "reigned _over"_ him instead?

His chin ground into the concrete as he tried to decide exactly how humiliating this was. The tip of his shoe still laid in that damnable crack that he had managed to trip over. He glared ahead of him at the scuffed black Mary Janes that stood planted firmly on the sidewalk before him.

Maybe he could wait her out?

Nonchalant fingers combed through his mussed blue-black hair that had gone into disarray. They brushed tiny pebbles from his jacket that had struck when he landed with an inelegant _oomph_ in the very position he now found himself in.

Thank you, gravity.

With a relaxed sigh, he stretched his arms behind his back then forward again, bringing his left wrist before his very casual eyes, and flicked the sleeve of his olive green blazer up to glance at his watch. Fifteen minutes until his class started. Damn.

He dragged his attention forward once more.

Those damn Mary Janes were still there.

Reluctantly, he let his gaze travel from slim ankles to shapely calves encased in innocent white knee-highs. From the knees to what looked to be promisingly curvy thighs cut off by a blue skirt, much to his consternation. A placating wind blew the royal blue skirt a tantalizing and compromising inch higher and his lips quirked.

Perhaps he wasn't _that_ reluctant.

His gaze wandered still further over a pair of hands planted on a tiny waist, lingered perhaps a little too long on a beautifully made (from what he could tell) pair of breasts, and finally gathered his pride and looked into the face of Death.

"Any day now, Mamoru-baka."

Death looked disturbingly like a flushed and amused Tsukino Usagi. Her simmering blue eyes told him that his scrutiny had not gone unnoticed, but the barely contained laughter that he could see behind her twitching lips meant he'd probably escape unscathed. On that count at least.

He ignored her outstretched hand and heaved himself to his feet, dusted off his jacket, and lifted his briefcase. "Don't say it."

"Don't say what?"

"Odango--"

"There's a little word that would fit this situation perfectly, but I just can't seem to recall it."

"I mean it!"

"Gosh, what _is_ it?"

"I'm walking away."

"It's on the tip of my tongue…"

"Leaving!"

"Oh yeah!" She snapped her fingers as if inspired and called, laughing, to his retreating back. "KARMA!"

Chiba Mamoru grit his teeth as he stared resolutely forward. He would not turn back. His face reddened in annoyance as she turned the word into a shouting repetitive song to the tune of the Hungry, Hungry Hippos jingle (KarmakarmaKar-MA!) that echoed mockingly in his ears.

He entered the courtyard just as the warning bell rang for first period. The school gates closed behind him and he turned to see a wailing Usagi shaking the gates and demanding that he " _LET HER IN. THIS. INSTANT!"_

He whistled as he walked away, sure that he'd make it on time.

That karma sure was a bitch.


	4. Theme #15: Mistake

There was movement in Mamoru's red Coupe. Moisture lightly coated the windows and, from the outside, Usagi stared, transfixed, at the bare female back that she could just make out. The girl inside had perfect shoulder blades, beautifully sculpted arms, and a mane of long blonde hair. The early morning's orange glow crept into the parking structure and softly lit her tan.

Usagi felt her anger rising in time with the girl's rhythm.

Sick. That's why Motoki had said Mamoru wasn't at the arcade yesterday. He was _"sick."_ She figured she'd be nice for a change because God only knew that if the Baka wasn't out being his usual, overachieving self, then he must really be feeling _terrible._ So she'd dragged _her_ butt out of bed _two hours early_ to come over with some of Mako-chan's soup and (though the thought made her want to vomit herself) clear away any sick mess he might have made.

 _Sick._ And before she quite knew what she was doing, Usagi tore open the door and tossed the chicken noodle over the strange girl's back.

"I hope you enjoy the soup, you hentai!"

She turned to storm away and crashed into a solid chest, clad in a simple white T-shirt. Absent hands steadied her shoulders and she looked up to see Mamoru staring transfixed and horrified at his car. His nose was red, his eyes were slightly watery, and his face was pale. If the green tint of his cheeks was any indicator, Usagi thought he might vomit.

"Dat," he said slowly between a stuffed nose, "is de last tibe I let Minako overhear where I keep by spare key."


	5. Theme #1: Chocolate

It was the best thing she'd ever tasted.

Usagi sighed happily as she scraped the rich butterscotch topping off the top of her chocolate cake. 'Nii-san hadn't wanted to tell her what the new cake he was adding to the menu was called. Unable to meet her eyes, he told her that it wasn't appropriate yet, he had to make sure they were actually adding it before he could bring himself to tell his imouto, but _really_ , she thought through a haze of satisfaction, he'd be crazy not to put it on the menu. It was delicious, like she was biting into ecstacy, sampling bliss, letting drops of Heaven dance on her tongue.

Mamoru slid into the booth across from her, running an agitated hand through his hair. "God, it's crowded in here today," he said, casting a disgruntled look at the crowd of newcomers mobbing the counter. "I could barely get through the door."

Usagi 'hmm'ed in acknowledgement. "Really? I hadn't noticed." She'd been encased in a delightful sugar coma, oblivious to the world surrounding her, but gradually the sound of the crowd intruded upon her awareness. She frowned, gaze flicking over to them, and took another bite. _Mmmm._ The haze of pleasure took over her once more and she relaxed in her seat, limbs languid. Not even the Baka would irritate her as long as she had this cake.

"What is tha- _Oh."_ Mamoru chuckled. "So _that's_ what all the fuss is about. Is he _giving_ that away?"

"Mmhmm." Usagi dragged her fork through the frosting.

"It's great." Mamoru agreed with her hum of satisfaction. "But I don't imagine it could really live up to its name, do you?"

"Dunno," she said. She picked up a stray crumb on her plate and touched it to her tongue. The flavor flooded her senses and she closed her eyes. "Motoki-'nii-san wouldn't tell me what it was called."

"Yeah, that would be probably be awkward for him." Mamoru looked at her contemplatively and leaned across the table. "If you do me a favor, Odango, I might be persuaded to tell you what it's called." Mamoru's voice was low and strangely intimate.

She looked at him, gaze measuring, finger still to her lips. If she knew what it was called, she could have Mako-chan bake it for her whenever she wanted. And how bad could the favor he wanted be? She pushed her plate aside and leaned towards him, matching his distance cross the table. "Ok. What do you want?"

His gaze flicked down and he tilted his head, eyes closing as he bridged the gap between their mouths. Usagi jumped minutely, startled, and his hand came up to caress her cheek. His thumb traced the outline of her face and she closed her eyes. Sounds outside of them didn't exist. The murmur of the crowd disappeared as Mamoru moved his lips against hers. Her heart pounded in her ears and she heard his erratic breathing. She tentatively slid her mouth down to suck on his bottom lip. Mamoru had a flavor all his own: dark chocolate with a coconut cream filling and caramel sauce and a red velvet topping and musk and something rich she couldn't name and-

It was the best thing she'd ever tasted.

He pulled away and her eyes slid open to lock on his, which were staring at her intently. "Better than sex."

She blinked. "I- wha- _hentai!"_ Face burning,she pushed at his shoulders, sending his back to _whump_ against the soft back of the booth.

He laughed, eyes still smoldering. "That's what the cake's called, Odango. Better than sex cake." He slung his jacket over one shoulder. "But if sex would be anywhere near to that kiss, then-" he whistled lowly and slid from the booth. "The cake couldn't even come close." Usagi's eyes followed him as he sauntered from the Arcade.

If that had just been a kiss... Usagi tried another bite of the cake. Nope. Nowhere near it. Her mouth firmed in determination and she hollered as she got up from her booth and pushed her way to the front of the counter. "Motoki-'nii-san! I gotta talk to you about this cake! The name isn't right, it's not right _at all!"_


	6. Theme #2: Mask

Don't blink.

Your fingers trace the edge of his mask. If you blink, he will swirl his cape, flee the scene, and you will never get this chance again. He's close. Closer than he's ever been before after rescuing you. Close enough that you can feel his breath wafting over you, smell the unique combination of perspiration and flowers that is _him._ His hand settles between your breasts, hovering on the locket that makes up your glamour, your own mask.

You flinch.

He's gone.

And you shake your head, blaming yourself.

You never should have blinked.


	7. Theme #3: Hair

"This is stupid."

"You promised! Anything I wanted, you said it!"

"Usako, I hardly think-"

"You. Promised. And you never ever break a promise. Ever."

"I don't even know what a 'smolder' _is._ "

"I brushed and brushed and brushed and _brushed_ my hair, Mamo- _Flynn."_

"I'd noticed. You know I hardly think lengthening said hair to tie me to a chair is an appropriate use of the Luna Pen."

"Just say it."

"Fine. I didn't want to have to do this, but... you leave me no choice...

...Usako, Usako, let down your hair."


	8. Benefits of insanity

There were times when Mamoru took Motoki's jesting suggestion to visit a psychologist under serious consideration.

"Seriously Mamoru," he said with a joking grin on his face, green eyes bright with mirth. "You've got a total case of insomnia, you practically _live_ off of coffee, you--"

Mamoru waved his hand negligently, allowing Motoki's ramble to continue uninterrupted. He turned glazed blue eyes to stare away, letting them wander around aimlessly for a bit. Counter was a bit spotty, he'd have to needle Motoki about it later. Someone was taking a turn at the crane game, so he'd have to wait a bit to try and get the Tuxedo Kamen plushie. And—he frowned. There was a flower sitting on the end of the counter and could have _sworn_ that it had just—

The stem weaved, and… yes, _there!_ The leaf on the stem, it was… no. Absurd. Impossible. He looked away, only to glance back hesitantly. There was no denying it now.

That stupid orchid was _waving_ at him.

He felt his eyes widen fractionally in surprise, hardly daring to move. Slowly, the orchid bent itself in half; a position that would have broken a normal flower's stem. Was it—

It was _bowing_ to him! That—it was mocking him, dammit!

He turned away from it resolutely, and interrupted Motoki's joking spiel on the merits of mental health care.

"Oi… Motoki-kun? …I'll think about it."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that morning, Mamoru found himself walking a strangely empty sidewalk, hands in pockets, when his eyes lit upon a tiny figure with two long streamers of golden hair trailing behind her. It was Usagi, sprinting as fast as her long legs could carry her, blue eyes wild with worry. "I'm _so_ late," she wailed to herself, half-wishing that Luna or her mother had actually been home to wake her that morning. "I already missed the whole first period, and Haruna-sensei's gonna _kill_ me."

Mamoru stepped into her path, hoping that she'd manage to fall into him. He wouldn't go so far as to trip her, no, but perhaps… He cast hopeful eyes on the tree shading the sidewalk. The flower had done it—just that morning too! he thought. Maybe—

He shook his head. No, this was crazy! He was crazy! But…

The gentle sound of gravel shifting reached Mamoru's ears. He looked down to see the cement split as one of the tree's thick roots crept up through the sidewalk until it lay there innocently as if it had always been there.

Mamoru grinned—a big, stupid one, he might have noted with disgust if he'd had a mirror handy-- and sent a silent prayer of thanks to whoever it was that looked out for the crazies these days. Usagi continued on obliviously. "And she's gonna make me stand out in the hall and stay after school in detention forever and—oh, hi Mamo— _gah!_ " This last was as she tripped over the aforementioned tree root and went spilling into Mamoru's arms, limbs flailing.

"Arigatou, Baka-san," she wheezed, slightly winded, moving to straighten herself but finding her body held in by immobile bands of steel. "Mamoru-baka, what are you--" Her breath caught at the look in his eyes. It was almost… devious… almost… _crazy,_ her mind whispered.

 _Crazy, huh?_ Mamoru thought defiantly, lips curving. Well, he may as well act the part. He bent to capture her lips with his, eyes closing slowly.

Usagi's eyes widened momentarily before she hesitantly mimicked him, closing her eyes, and dropping her schoolbag to the ground so that her arms were free to entwine about his neck. _Oh well,_ she thought with the equivalent of a mental shrug, followed shortly by a sigh. It wasn't like she'd have been on time for second period anyway.

Mamoru straightened her from her tipped over position (neither of them had moved since she'd fallen) before deepening the kiss. He braced her back against the tree and smirked into her mouth.

He was beginning to discover that insanity held some very _distinct_ perks in store for him.


	9. 1st U_M anniversary: Celebration

_The deceptively gentle tinkle of breaking glass. The screech of tires as they attempted to brake. A woman's horrified scream as a car ripped through the railings. Shaky gasps for air as he hung upside down, suspended by his seatbelt, choking on his terror._

_Sirens._

_That had been the last time he'd celebrated his birthday._

"—chan? Mamo-chan?" He started from his reverie to see two bright blue eyes blinking at him curiously. Usagi knelt in front of his birthday cake, the flames from the candles reflecting in her eyes. Thankfully, Rei had thought to grab her pigtails out of the way, holding them to the side, exasperatedly rolling her eyes at the blonde's forgetfulness.

"Mamo-chan," Usagi continued softly, "aren't you going to blow out your candles?"

He nodded slightly, and bowed his head to do as she bade him. "Wai!" she cheered happily, reaching for the knife—which Makoto held out of her reach.

Usagi pouted momentarily before swiping her finger across his name on the cake (to shrieks of " _Ew,_ Usagi-chan!" and "Usagi-chan, _germs!_ " from Minako and Ami).

She plopped herself quite happily into Mamoru's lap, and wiped the frosting onto his nose. He went cross-eyed trying to look at it and she giggled. "Happy Birthday, Mamo-chan!"

Mamoru smiled softly and dropped some of the cream onto her nose as well. "We match now," Usagi laughed, before sobering and cupping one hand to the side of her mouth. "Ne, Mamo-chan," she whispered conspirationally, "what did you wish for?"

He blinked for a moment before his arms snaked themselves around her waist. Mamoru chuckled as he nuzzled her cheek with his nose, getting all of the frosting onto her cheek. She squealed, and squirmed and laughingly demanded that he let her go this instant—though she'd have been sorely disappointed if he'd complied.

_What did I wish for, Usako?_

_Just for this._ Only _for this._


	10. 1st U_M anniversary: Soul Mates

"The man was originally the child of the sun, the woman of the earth, and the man-woman of the moon, which is made up of sun and earth, and they were all round and moved round and round," Mamoru muttered to himself, cradling his head in his hands as he pored over his textbook. "Terrible was their might and strength, and the thoughts of their hearts were great, and they made an attack upon the gods." He ran an agitated hand through blue-black hair and took a sip of his coffee, praying that it would mentally fortify him. He glanced at the book with hopeful eyes, and nearly growled with frustration as it laid there innocently, silently mocking him. Mamoru shook his head. No. It was a book. A book filled with words. Stupid, stupid words. "Right, okay. So then, the gods said—they said--" He gave up and slammed the text shut, letting his head fall rhythmically against its cover. "They should have said that this is a load of--"

"Mamoru-baka!" Usagi squeaked indignantly, cutting off his muttered oath. He had been so preoccupied with his textbook trouble that he had failed to notice a pair of cornflower blue eyes peering at him curiously. When he had began to bang his head despondently against the innocently blue cover, she had been quite unable to resist and had vacated her spot at the counter to see what could possibly ruffle the feathers of the stoic Chiba Mamoru.

He winced. "Odango. Gomen nasai, I--" He broke off to glare at her. "Why am I apologizing to you?"

Usagi looked up from her perusal of his book with a twinkle in her eye and an uncharacteristic smirk on her face. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because I might be able to help you?"

Mamoru's skeptical gaze said it all.

"No, really, Baka-san!" she insisted. "It's mythology, ne? I'm good with mythology!"

"Odango, I doubt you've ever passed a test in your life. I'm not about to let you tutor me." He spoke as he gathered the book and a few sheets of paper into his arms and strode toward the automatic doors. "Ja."

"I bet I know more about it than you," Usagi challenged.

Mamoru's back stiffened. Do not let her rile you, he chanted. Do not allow yourself to be distracted. Do not compete with Usagi.

"Whassa matter, Mamoru?" she taunted. "Afraid that I might know more than you about something? Afraid that I might just be smarter than you in this? "

Self-Control bid Mamoru a fond adieu as he whirled to face her, hands clenched, as Competitive Drive took over. "Fine," he ground out through gritted teeth as he stalked over to the table and she happily took her seat, golden pigtails flying in front of her in her haste.

He eyed her contemplatively, deciding to take it easy on her at first. "Who drove the chariot that brought the sun to light the sky each day?"

He sipped his coffee, expecting it to take her a moment. Thus, he nearly choked on his drink when she responded with a prompt "Apollo." She patted him helpfully as she silently admonished him. You'll have to do better than that, Mamoru-baka. Her look spoke volumes of her disappointment. "What were Mercury's winged sandals called?" Usagi shot at him.

His jaw dropped and she squirmed uncomfortably. "Hermes, if you prefer. Y'know, messenger god?"

Mamoru continued to stare at her, aghast. She sighed. "Talaria," she said finally.

He physically shook himself from his stupor. Obviously, he'd have to ask some tougher questions. "What was the river in the Underworld called?"

"The river Styx. What was the name of the ferryman?"

He fumbled his thoughts. "Chrono—no, wait, Charon!" he said triumphantly. "Where did the gods live?"

"Mount Olympus. Are you sure you don't want to stop—no? Okay, who was the god of sea?"

"Mercury," he said confidently. "Who--" He stopped short as she giggled. "What?" he asked in confusion.

"Wrong," she sang out. "Baka-san, I just told you that Mercury was the messenger god. No, the answer's Neptune. Or Poseidon. Either, or."

Mamoru blinked. Then why… He shook himself from this contemplation to focus on matters at hand. She was beating him! He had only answered one correctly, and she hadn't missed a single one. And, if he wasn't mistaken, Usagi was deliberately baiting him a bit with trick questions and obscure information.

He threw out his last hope. "Name three goddesses of the moon." Usagi stared at him in shock for a moment, before throwing back her head and letting out a long, pealing bell of laughter. He allowed hope to rise cautiously and finally spoke confidently. "So, you don't--"

He was cut off by one righteous finger wagging in his face, as Usagi's laughter died and she let a triumphant gleam dance happily in her eyes. "Hecate." She held up a second finger. "Artemis." Her lips twitched at some unknown joke and she held up her third finger. "And Selene." Her shoulder quaked with laughter as she innocently inquired, "Would you like their Roman names as well?"

Mamoru looked at her and conceded defeat. "Fine, fine. You're better than me at this one thing." She moved to protest before he cut her off with blue eyes narrowed in her direction. "Are you going to help me or not?" he said quietly.

She flushed, visibly taken aback, and nodded. "H-hai." She sat next to him and slid the book in front of her. "What page?"

"274."

Usagi flipped it open and rifled through until she found the appropriate page. Mamoru watched as her brow furrowed in thought and her eyes scanned the page. Her mouth formed a neat little 'o' as her eyes flew to his. "But—but this is easy!"

"It doesn't make sense," he said stubbornly, crossing his arms. "None of that could have ever happened. The ancient Greeks and Romans obviously had some drugs that are outlawed today because I don't see how--"

"Mamoru no baka," she huffed out impatiently. "Look, I know you have this thing for facts, but forget that for a second. Think about possibility."

Mamoru looked at her blankly and she sighed impatiently. "Forget your logic," she encouraged again. "Think of this as a story, and stop trying to prove it wrong. If you deflate you ego a little bit, you should be able to make some room for your brain to figure it out."

He tugged her pigtail, a little miffed at the dig. "Get on with it, Odango."

"Okay, look, what he's saying here is that humans used to be these ugly-looking things with four arms and four legs, and a whooooole lot of power. So one day, they got a little too big for their britches and attacked the gods." She turned the page. "As you could probably guess, they didn't much like that, so Zeus decided to split them up. That's where the whole 'soul mates' thing comes from. We're each half of a soul, half of a person, really, which is why we have two arms and two legs now too." She put a finger to her lips, thinking to herself. "That might be where 'opposites attract' comes from too, actually. The opposites combine to form the complete soul. What do you think?" Eyes lit with this realization, she turned to discover a disturbingly intent Mamoru gazing down at her. She blushed and turned back to the book, flipping the page to stare curiously at an artist's rendering of what an original human may have looked like.

Mamoru, for his part, turned to look at her petite form with its golden locks, mentally comparing it to his own large body and dark hair. His lips curved with an amused grin. So… I should consider the possibilities, huh, Odango? He sat back calmly and watched her twitter away, entire being animated with the ideas she clearly found fascinating. Well… alright then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The passage Mamoru is having trouble with is Plato's "Symposium" (I condensed it a LOT in Usagi's explanation) and the quotes are from Aristophanes' speech in that. All trivia on mythology is actually mythology, and in case anyone's wondering the Roman names for Hecate, Artemis, and Selene are Trivia, Diana, and Luna, respectively. (At least according to a webpage… if it's wrong… I blame that ;)


	11. 1st U_M anniversary: Irish Luck

"But Haruna-sensei, it's true!" Usagi exclaimed. "I really _couldn't_ do my homework last night!"

Mamoru paused outside the classroom door, lips twitching in amusement. He had been on his way to pick Usako up from detention, but decided to wait a minute. This should be interesting.

"See, Haruna-sensei, we were all in Crown, right?" Usagi said earnestly. Haruna nodded, lips pursed, as she clenched her hands together tightly. _Probably praying for patience,_ Mamoru thought, chuckling inwardly.

"But then, we heard this yell! So we all ran out to see what was going on, but there wasn't a youma attacking anybody or anything. There was just this creepy looking lady standing there and screaming and it was this _awful_ scream, Haruna-sensei, even worse than mine. And then she pointed at me and me and Ami-chan went like this--" Usagi sucked in a quick intake of breath, her expression comical as she did so. _"Do you know what it means when Ami does that?"_ she asked intently, expression grim.

Haruna shook her head, amused despite herself.

"It's never good," Usagi said, shaking her head so that her pigtails flew from side to side. "She usually says something that _reeeeeally_ complicates things and it was the same thing yesterday. She got all worried and asked me if there was anybody Irish in my family and I wasn't sure so I called Mama and asked her and she said that her great-great-great-great-- I don't know how many greats-- grandma was a Ka-va-nagh," she said this very carefully and with great concentration.

"So, Ami-chan kind of groaned, but so did Mamo-chan! And then he turned to me and asked me how come dating me was never simple and then I yelled at him and then he—uh… stopped me." Mamoru ran a hand through his hair embarrassedly.

Haruna buried her face in her hands, shoulders beginning to shake with helpless laughter. She waved a hand for Usagi to continue. She did so happily.

"So then they told me that the ban-shee," she slowed down again momentarily before plunging heedlessly on, "pointing at me meant that I was gonna _die!"_ She paused and muttered something that Haruna didn't pick up, but Mamoru did, and he couldn't help frowning. "Dunno why she never bothered to show up before _now."_ She raised her voice again. "Anyway, everybody freaked out a little. We went to Mamo-chan's apartment and Mamo-chan and I went in his room and looked at his plants, where he… uh, _found_ me a four-leaf clover and he put in my uh… _pocket!_ for me." Mamoru cringed.

"Then, Mako-chan found this old dirty horseshoe and made me wear it around my neck." She wrinkled her nose. "It was yucky. But that wasn't the worst part! Rei-chan found some old scroll that said rabbit feet were good luck! First, I thought of Chibi-Usa, but she isn't… in town to hang around me. Now, _I_ thought my own feet were good enough, but they all said no. It had to be a real one. And Minako-chan _had_ one," she said in righteous indignation. "I wasn't gonna wear it. In fact, I got so mad that I was gonna leave right there! But then Mamo-chan—uh, made me stay."

He flushed embarrassedly.

"So, anyway, we were all at Mamo-chan's apartment to hide out, and there was this knock on the door, and I went to answer it even though Mamo-chan told me _not to move_ and it was a _youma!_ And it took it's arm-sword-thingy and tried to cut my neck right open! Luckily, it missed and hit the horseshoe, so I just fell over and kinda coughed a lot because it banged into my neck a lot and it really hurt. Mamo-chan was _reeeeally_ mad at me—and it," she added as an afterthought.

Too right, he was, Mamoru thought savagely.

"Then I got up and I yelled at it and then we all tr--"

" _Oi!_ " Mamoru yelped, leaping into the room. Usagi stopped speaking to stare at him. He cleared his throat. "Oi. Odango. You ready?"

She frowned. "Mamo-chan, you know I don't like it when you--"

" _Ahem."_ Haruna cleared her throat to get their attention. "Usagi, you may leave. I really should give you detention for that outrageous lie, but just because it seems like it might have required a bit of research, I'll let it slide this _once_."

"But it _wasn't_ \--" Usagi started, brow crinkling in frustration, before Mamoru grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the room. She gave up, yelling out "Arigatou, Haruna-sensei!"

Once they were outside, Mamoru handed her a pink helmet and fastened it onto her head properly. "Usako, you almost slipped up in there," he admonished, tapping her on the nose chidingly.

"Did _not!_ " she insisted, a slightly guilty expression flitting over her features. "I had it completely under control. I was going to say that we all… tr _ied to get away!_ " she exclaimed triumphantly.

"Yeah, okay, okay," he said, climbing on the bike and gesturing for her to do the same. "Oh, and Usako?" he asked, as she put her arms around his stomach, feeling a grin pull at the corners of his mouth.

"Yeah, Mamo-chan?" she said curiously.

He let the grin spread across his face. "You're full of blarney."

She shrieked as they roared away. "I am _not!_ "

"…Ne, Mamo-chan, what's a blar-nee?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Information on banshees came from this site: h t t p / w w w . i r e l a n d s e y e . c o m / a n i m a t i o n / e x p l o r e r / b a n s h e e . h t m l (without the spaces) . And I poked around the net a bit to find out that the Irish consider horseshoes, rabbit feet, and four-leaf clovers lucky. And, blarney is… "the gift of gab." /grins/


	12. 1st U_M anniversary: Pretend

She remembered the sparkling crown; the pink feathers that adorned it; her own chubby little hands eagerly reaching up for it so that she could nestle it safely between her odango. She remembered adoring the games of dress up, wearing a floofy white dress and issuing giggled demands for entertainment. She remembered racing around the house, squealing as her Papa—the 'monster'-- chased her, and darting behind 'Sir Shingo' for safety.

She remembered being called 'Princess.'

Now, she sees an ordinary school uniform, one like it worn by hundreds—maybe thousands of girls. There is no crown. Her subjects and civilization have long since perished. Her 'knight in shining armor' is driven to destroy her.

And the monsters are real.

Usagi shook herself from her contemplation as Naru called from ahead of her. "Usagi-chan! We're going to be even later if you don't get a move on!"

"I'm coming, Naru-chan, I'm coming!" she shouted back, running to catch up. "Haruna-sensei'll kill me dead if I'm late one more time, ne?" she laughed, threading her arm through Naru's as she darted past. She spared a fleeting thought for arguments in the afternoon, tossed test papers, and cheeks flushed with anger—and maybe something more. Her expression darkened briefly before she pasted a painful grin back on.

Usagi was growing so tired of playing pretend.


	13. 1st U_M anniversary: Righting a Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a crack fic. You have been warned.

Mamoru would later plead that he was completely innocent in the entire affair. Sometimes, after all, ignorance was bliss (he still wished that he could forget that time he'd gotten completely soused and scampered up into a tree, refusing to come down until the next morning… when he'd fallen out). But this… lord, he wished he _wasn't_ feigning ignorance.

It had started one lovely spring afternoon—well, okay it wasn't spectacularly lovely (rather gray, in fact), but Usako _was_ wearing a beautifully short skirt, showing off her _spectacularly_ lovely long legs. They had been roaming the park, he had been fighting to remain cool and collected as she'd looked at up at him adoringly with those big blue eyes… They were in public, you see. And while he had no problem with showing her affection… well, there was that _skirt_ … His eyes had wandered down helplessly and her smile had widened impishly.

"Ne, Mamo-chan?" _Oh, hell,_ he remembered thinking helplessly as her hands began to play with his shirt collar. Her fingers nimbly undid the top button of his shirt and lingered at his collarbone. She widened her eyes innocently. "Don't you think it's a little… _hot?_ "

He had groaned then, and pulled her into the shade of a nearby tree before proceeding to let her demonstrate just how hot it was. They broke off panting at a strange rustle from the above branches and Mamoru cast a suspicious glance upwards. "Usako," he started slowly, "what do you suppose—"

 _Bonk._ Mamoru's eyes promptly went cross-eyed as a rather large branch plummeted to land squarely on his head and he fell backwards, landing in the grass. "Mamo-chan!" Usagi squeaked, falling to her knees to cradle his head in her lap. "Daijoubu, Mamo-chan?" she asked, peering down at him worriedly.

"Guhhh," he gurgled. "Look 'tall the pretty birdsh," he slurred.

Usagi checked behind her, hoping that there was, in fact, an extraordinary bird sunning itself behind her (it was best not to set her hopes too high, after all—he probably had double vision at _least_ ), but this optimism was soon set straight. Mamoru stirred in her lap, and slowly sat up. "How… did I get here?" he asked slowly, taking in his surroundings.

Usagi opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off. "—Diana?" Mamoru said, shocked. "What happened—did you dye your hair?" She shot him a strange look. "It-- it looks good!" he said, waving his hands to ward off what he seemed to think was her anger.

Usagi squinted at him suspiciously. "Mamo-chan… why are you calling me Diana? She's a _cat._ "

Mamoru blinked. "A cat? Diana, what are you talking about? It's me, Bruce." Usagi looked at him blankly. "Bruce _Wayne?_ " At her disbelieving stare, he sighed and shrugged his shoulders in resignation, looking to the skies as if wondering why he bothered. "Y'know… _The bat?_ " he whispered intently.

It was Usagi's turn to blink. Once. Twice. Three times. "The _what!_ " her incredulous shriek echoed throughout the park, sending birds flying from their perches and small animals scurrying back into their homes, as Mamoru frantically shushed her.

He winced, rubbing his ear as her scream died down. "Was that really necessary?" He stood, dusting his pants off as he did so. "I don't have time for this. Listen, can I borrow the invisible jet?" He took her hanging jaw for her assent. "Thanks." And Mamoru strode off.

Usagi sat there for a moment before her nails started scrabbling at her communicator, pressing the 'All-call' button when she managed to get it in hand. "Minna," she sighed when her senshi were all visible on the screen. "We've got a problem. Mamo-chan's gone and lost his marbles again."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They found him later, crouched low in the bushes as he muttered to himself intently. " _Stupid_ Batman—thinks he's _so_ cool, all he's got is _gadgets_ , no _powers_ , not like _me_ , why does _he_ get all those girls?"

Mercury turned to the group, fingers typing rapidly on her Mercury computer. "Okay, this shouldn't be too difficult. If it's just him thinking he's that… Bat guy, then all he should need is a quick knock to the head to fix him. Uranus, you can take care of that, right?" She turned to Sailoruranus, who gripped her Space Sword and grinned ferally.

"Hai!" she said happily.

Sailormoon eyed the Sword with some trepidation. "Ano… Haruka-san? You're just gonna hit Mamo-chan with the end of it, right?"

Uranus looked crestfallen for a moment, before composing herself. "Yeah, of course, yeah…"

Sailorjupiter cracked her knuckles. "You gonna need any help, Uranus?" she asked hopefully.

"You can hold him back," Uranus offered kindly.

They approached him cautiously. He looked up and his expression was filled with glee as he watched them approach, slowly, like cautious hunters stalking deer. " _Eat me_ , Bruce. Check out the action _I'm_ about to get."

"Pssst. Usagi-chan." Sailorvenus poked her in the shoulder. "The heck's he wearing?"

Sailormoon turned and groaned, hiding her face in her hands once she had taken in the multi-colored garment he had dressed in. "Mamo-chan, _what_ would possess you to wear your undies outside of your clothes like that!" she wondered rhetorically.

Uranus approached him, getting still closer. "Hey, Kara," Mamoru said nonchalantly, waving a hand in her direction. Sailoruranus stilled. "Like the haircut. But… hey!" He pointed a finger at her accusingly. "Where's your 'S'?" he demanded belligerently.

Uranus blinked. "My… 'S'?" She cast a glance back at the rest of the senshi. She received blank stares and shaking heads in response. "It's… in the shop?" she tried.

Mamoru was silent for moment before he gasped and leapt to his feet. " _You're_ not Kara!" he cried dramatically, one hand raised triumphantly into the air.

"You're right," she agreed amicably.

"Of course I am."

"I'm not Kara."

"I know!"

"But I'm going to _kick_ your—"

"Sailoruranus!" came the sharp reprimand from Sailorneptune.

"Can't I just--"

" _No."_

"Aw, you're no fun."

Mamoru looked out all of them. What looked like a red apron tied around his neck was caught by the wind and blew behind him. "It's clear to me what you are now," he said darkly. "All of you, actually."

"Really?" Sailormars asked. "What are we then?"

"Aliens."

Murmurs washed through them. "That's not too far off, actually," Sailorpluto muttered thoughtfully. "Maybe we won't have to--"

"From the planet _Krypton!_ "

"Scratch that."

"Halt your plans, villains!" he yelled, moving his hands to his hips and glaring at them daringly. "I know what you're up to. And you will never rule this world as long as I, Superman--"

His eyes lit on Sailormoon, who was fighting the impulse to bang her head against a nearby telephone pole, and thus developing a nervous tic, and he changed tactics.

"…Of course, if you change your ways and fight at my side for Truth, Justice, and the American Way, I think we could be very happy repopulating Krypton together."

Sailormoon yanked at her pigtails, wailing in frustration. "Mamo-chan, we're _Japanese!_ "

Mamoru waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively. "So… how's about it?"

She sighed. "Mercury?" she asked hopefully.

Sailormercury looked at her from behind her visor. "No good. Gonna have to be a smidgen of ginzuishou power, Sailormoon."

She sighed, pulling her brooch from her sailor fuku and allowed the ginzuishou to emerge, pulsing softly.

"Oh no!" Mamoru cried melodramatically. "Kryptonite! Despite its notable lack of green, the very _sight_ of it makes me feel queasy." He fell to his knees at the pink waves of light washed over him. "Nooo! How much more can I take? How can another Kryptonian hold onto Kryptonite like that!"

The healing light of the ginzuishou enveloped him gradually and he stared at his hands, blinking as his yells died out. "U—Usako?" he asked, confused, looking up at the assembled senshi, who were watching him cautiously. "What—is there an enemy? Usako… were you using the ginzuishou?"

Sailormoon replaced the ginzuishou inside her brooch and shifted back down to Usagi. She strode up to Mamoru and brought his head down to her eye level. He gulped. "Mamo-chan?" she asked sweetly.

"Hai, Usako?" he asked meekly.

"Mamo-chan," she whispered fiercely, "if you manage to lose your memory one more time, we are going. To have. Words."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone confused, in the first bit, Mamoru thinks he's Batman (Bruce Wayne) and thinks Usagi is Diana... alias Wonder Woman (who flies the invisible jet). The second bit… he now thinks he's Superman, and dresses up like him. And while Batman has numerous love interests… Superman didn't really; it was mostly just Lois. He's from Krypton, weakness Kryptonite, once dealt with evil Kryptonians who wanted to take over Earth. He's got a cousin, Kara (Supergirl) who is blonde and usually wears a short short skirt and a shirt with the customary 'S' on it.


	14. 3rd U_M anniversary: Family

Usagi had always been big on anniversaries. She could point out that fateful day that she'd thrown a test paper over her head on a calendar. The first time Mamoru kissed her was burned into her mind. She knew when they'd started dating, when they'd started dating _again_ , the day he proposed to her, their wedding anniversary, and a slew of other dates in between.

"Usako, have you seen my shoes?" Mamoru poked a tousled head out from their bedroom. She'd rubbed off on him since the early days of their marriage. It seemed that when he had someone to share the morning with, he was reluctant to get off to work.

She yawned from within her pink robe. "Mmm. Think I kicked them under your side of the bed. They were in my way."

Mamoru yanked the loafers on from beneath their bed (where Usagi had indeed kicked them) and grabbed his briefcase. He hurried to the door before turning around hastily. He delivered a quick kiss to her expectant lips. "I'll be home for dinner. Seven, right?" he called over his shoulder.

"Uh-huh," Usagi said, a small smile playing about her mouth as the lock clicked behind him. She'd have to have Mako-chan make something special for dinner, she thought, laying a hand against her still flat stomach.

It wasn't every day she got to add an anniversary to her list.


	15. 3rd U_M anniversary: Friends

Swirls of colors, of jewel tones, of blacks, and whites, and expensive fabrics whirled past her. She twirled around the dance floor in the arms of a tuxedo-clad man, barely paying attention to her feet.

Usagi had never been this graceful.

She concentrated instead on the man whose arms gently encircled her. High cheekbones in a perfectly sculpted face. Healthy skin. Amused, crinkled blue eyes. Black hair with a hint of blue to it. His eyes remained fixed on hers as he lifted her hand to his lips and she blushed prettily.

Usagi had never been this poised.

Her slim white hands smoothed down the tulle on the skirt of her dress, and he captured that errant hand as he lead her once more around the dance floor. The music slowed. So did they. It stopped. They did too. He lifted her chin with a finger and she closed her eyes and puckered her lips.

Usagi had never been this lucky.

"Usagi-chaaaaan," a distant voice intruded.

"Minna-chan, this is wrong, we shouldn't have just barged into her room."

"Well, a phone call wouldn't have worked."

"Enough—Minako, stop poking her. Get up, Odango!"

Usagi whirled in a tangle of limbs, and hair, and linens from her bed onto her floor. After a confused moment, in which she looked around with heavy-lidded eyes, she seemed to realize what had happened. And more notably that she was awake. "I'm going to kill you, Pyro!" she screeched, leaping to her feet.

Rei, perhaps heeding Usagi's imminent warning for once, took off running.

After all, Usagi had never been this pissed.


	16. 3rd U_M anniversary: Food

Mamoru hated when Usagi dieted. It so rarely happened due to her love of all things edible and her genetic inclination to stay naturally slim, but there were days after she'd polished off more than one carton of ice-cream, gorged herself on chocolate bars, and Rei had made one too many "moon middle" jokes, that she swore off anything unhealthy. He'd try to convince her that she didn't need it, but her mouth would firm resolutely and she'd clear their fridge (much to his dismay) of any sugar.

She'd munch on carrot sticks (he had to restrain himself from the obvious rabbit jokes). She'd glare at the chocolate milkshakes, narrowing her blue eyes at them as though they'd done something to offend her. They'd go out for dinner and she'd poke sadly at her steamed vegetables, while watching the bread with wary eyes. Stranger things had turned out to be youma, he supposed. He stayed silent as she stared fixedly at his Spaghetti Florentine—a hunter with her prey in sight.

He signaled for the waiter and politely requested a chocolate mousse to round out the meal.

"You don't mind, do you Usako? I'm still so hungry," he said innocently.

She gritted her teeth. "Not at all." This as she began to stab at her vegetables. The fork clinked against the plate. Mamoru winced. "I'm absolutely fine, Mamo-chan." _Stab._ "These veggies are so satisfying." _Stab._ "I don't need the calorie-fest, chocoholic, sugar-induced _coma_ that that mousse will give you." _Stab, stab._ She chewed ferociously and smiled when the waiter brought the mousse to put in front of Mamoru.

"Go ahead, Mamo-chan," she said from behind that saccharine sweet smile. " _Enjoy."_

Mamoru gulped, but resolutely lifted the fork. A scant second after he'd closed his mouth around the rich treat, he found an Usako attached to his lips. She slanted her mouth over his, hand pressing insistently on the back of his head. After a moment's surprise, he entangled his hand in her hair and pulled her closer, sending her stumbling from her bent-over position next to the table and into his lap. His other arm encircled her tiny (always tiny, he thought stubbornly) waist. Kissing Usako was better than any old mousse anyway. His eyes closed, and he pulled back to give her a soft smile.

"My God, that's good," she breathed. Her eyes were half-closed and glazed with a dreamy look.

His smile grew. He opened his mouth to reply

\--And she hopped off his lap, stealing his mousse. "You were right, Mamo-chan. This dieting business was silly anyway. Could you ask the waiter for more rolls? I'm _starving._ " She took her first real bite of the mousse and melted, pleasure flooding her face.

"Oh my _God."_

He hastily signaled for the check and asked for the rolls—to go.

"What's the rush, Mamo-chan?" Usagi looked up at him from beneath heavy lidded lashes. Her cheeks were rosy from her frenzied eating. She took another bite of the mousse and let out a low moan. "This is _so_ good."

He hated when she dieted… but he loved when she stopped.


	17. 3rd U_M anniversary: Visiting

"She's beautiful, your majesty," Pluto said politely, flicking her gaze towards the silver-haired babe that would one day be the downfall of their civilization.

Queen Serenity stared down at her newborn daughter and ran a hand through her downy hair. Adoration was in every movement, every touch, every glance. "Thank you, Pluto," she murmured. She shifted her attention to the Senshi of Time. "Nothing to be concerned about at the time gates, I trust?" Her tone was light yet businesslike, and her hand remained in the bassinette, gently pinching the little princess's tiny foot between two fingers.

Pluto paused for a moment that was imperceptible to all but Chronos (and even he would have been hard-pressed to name it so). "Yes, your majesty. Everything is… as it should be."

The queen nodded, already refocused on her daughter. "Good." She smiled down at Princess Serenity, and lifted that same soft, mothering look to Pluto. "Thank you for coming, Pluto."

Pluto battled with herself, tempted, as she always was, to tell the queen of all that she really knew. But how could she tell the queen that she'd just come from visiting the three year-old who was her daughter's soulmate? How could she tell her that Metallia was, even now, stirring on the surfaces of the sun? How could she tell her that the princess would grow up wondering about that blue and green marble that hung in the sky?

And _how_ could she tell her that it would bring about their doom?

She gripped the Time Key. No. Some day, millennia from now, a test paper would land on the head of the prince's reincarnation and the future would be ensured. They'd have an era of peace in Crystal Tokyo one day. This time stream was still the best viable option.

Telling the queen anything else was not her place, she thought, sinking into a bow. "Thank you, your majesty," she murmured. She whirled her talisman and stepped through the portal back to the gates.

No, not her place at all, she mused, staring at the different doors.

She was, after all, only visiting.


	18. 3rd U_M anniversary: Picnic

Usagi had a very set idea of what a picnic should be. It involved slight breeze, a fun, flirty sundress, and a checkered blanket. It involved a basket stuffed with Mako-chan's lunches, her closest friends, and maybe a game or two of Frisbee.

It most certainly did _not_ involve a certain jerk sprawled out all over _her_ blanket. She yanked the hem of her pink and orange-flowered dress out from under Mamoru's elbow with a glare.

"Baka," she spat, " _why_ are you here again?"

He smirked, rolling his eyes toward her. "Makoto invited Motoki. Motoki invited me."

She pouted. "I wish he hadn't," she muttered, staring forward at the Frisbee game that the others were beginning to organize. _You're glad he's here,_ a traitorous part of her mind whispered. She snuck a look at him from the corners of her eyes. She'd never seen him quite this way, in sneakers and a sleeveless T-shirt. He had muscles she'd never seen before hidden under that green jacket and black turtleneck. His spine wasn't held so perfectly rigid, his shoulders were relaxed, and his head was pillowed on his hands.

"You're glad I'm here, Odango," he drawled lazily from down on the blanket.

"I am not," she grumbled. "You ate the last piece of Mako-chan's cookie cake."

"I saved you from yourself," he told her, poking one insolent finger into her stomach. "And you are too." He sat up and shot her that cocky half-smile of his. "What else would you be doing if I wasn't here?" He waved his arm in the direction of the game. "Playing Frisbee?" He snorted. "Not likely."

Usagi stood and shook a few stray blades of grass from her dress. "Mako-chan!" she called, ignoring Mamoru's derisive chuckles behind her. "I want to play!"

"If Odango's going to play, I guess I'll play too. No sense missing out on this comedy show."

The grin that Makoto shared with Usagi was fiendish. "That's fine. Tell you what, the two of you will be on different teams. Then, you can uh… really show Usagi what's what."

The game was set up and Makoto threw the Frisbee to start. She flew it over to Motoki, who tried to pass it to Mamoru. A blonde blur whizzed in front of him and Usagi pivoted on her heels as her dress swirled about her knees.

She tossed a sassy smile over her shoulder at him. "Gonna have to do better than that, Baka-san."

She shot it towards Minako, who fumbled, but caught the Frisbee and threw it to Ami. Ami tossed it in Rei's direction, but it fell short and was scooped off of the ground by Mamoru. He threw in it a perfect line towards Makoto, but Usagi was suddenly there again, plucking it out of the air.

Without moving her eyes from Mamoru, Usagi's lips quirked up in a grin. She curved her arm wide and threw it around his body to Rei.

"I'm not impressed so far, Baka-san!" Usagi sing-songed.

Rei threw the Frisbee across the field to Minako. Motoki grabbed it just as it left Minako's hand, but Usagi grabbed it on its way to Makoto.

"Last chance, Baka-san!" she yelled, without surveying her surroundings. Hands suddenly reached around her to lock onto the Frisbee. She shrieked, and tumbled backwards, managing to shoot it towards Minako, who ran a brief two feet to score.

Mamoru's breath left him in a soft 'oomph' as Usagi landed on his chest. Her dress brushed the backs of her knees and her legs were splayed over his. His hand went to the small of her back, seemingly of its own accord. Both of their breaths came in uneven puffs and a light sheen of sweat lined their foreheads. They stared, startled, into each other's eyes before Mamoru spoke.

"Where," he demanded, "did you learn to do that?"

Usagi smirked and pushed herself off of his chest to stand. Her dress was damp with perspiration, but it had been worth it, she thought. "Natural talent," she claimed. "The important thing to remember here is," she turned to see him watching her walk away. Her lips curved. "I win."

She sashayed away, smiling to herself.

Her idea of a perfect picnic had just changed.


	19. 3rd U_M anniversary: Vacation

Vacations were not friendly to the planetary royalty, Neo-King Endymion thought grimly as his wife settled herself in his lap and gave him a puppy dog stare. Hell, traveling altogether generally turned out unfavorably for them. When Usagi had gone to the hot springs, the Dark Kingdom had (okay, _he_ had) unleashed a centuries old curse. Galaxia had stolen his star seed when he'd tried to study in America. And did he even need to _mention_ the North Pole?

…Right. Didn't think so.

It was with all of this in mind that Endymion's lips firmed and he opened his mouth to sternly refuse.

"Mamo-chan," Serenity said softly.

His mouth closed.

But wait, there was that time Usagi, Rei, and Ami had gone on that cruise! And when they'd visited him at the resort where he'd worked over the summer, they'd had to defend Makoto's teacher. He opened his mouth again eagerly.

Serenity began to trace patterns on his lapels with her fingertips. He swore to God, she must have rehearsed this. "Honey, it's just been so long since we've had a break. We haven't done anything but diplomatic missions since our honeymoon."

Which, Endymion thought, had only avoided disaster because he (and, he suspected, Usagi) had threatened to maim the Senshi six ways from Sunday if they were disturbed in any way.

"I just thought it'd be nice to get away for a weekend," Serenity continued, lifting her blue eyes to his, still circling her nails on his chest. "You know--" she blushed and looked down before peering back up at him through lowered lashes. "Just the two of us?"

She'd definitely rehearsed it, he thought with an inward smile, but he didn't quite care anymore. He pulled her hands from his chest and lifted her chin to his.

The hell with it, he thought, kissing his wife with abandon. The universe had survived the millennia between their incarnations.

It could sure as hell last a weekend.


	20. 3rd U_M anniversary: Celebration

Since becoming the Neo-Queen, Serenity had grown to hate her birthday. Back when she was seventeen, it had been a day all about _her._ She'd eaten what she wanted, gotten the presents that she'd asked for, and Mamoru had taken her wherever she wanted to go.

Now, it was all about _diplomacy_ , Serenity thought as she woke up, and the word tasted sour in her mind. Her birthday was celebrated by people all over the world, with fireworks, with noisemakers, and with raucous parties. It was celebrated by pretty much everyone. _Except her._

Instead, Serenity thought, yanking her comforter back over her head, she was forced to attend ceremonies. To cut ribbons and pose for publicity photos. To deliver strained smile after strained smile for the openings of the Crystal Monument. The Silver Millenium Memorial. The _freaking_ Bishoujo Senshi _Museum._

For Selene's sake, they were _still alive!_

"Usako?" Endymion entered the room. "Are you awake?"

She grunted into her pillow. "I _refuse_ to get out of this bed."

He laughed. "It's your birthday, Usako. You have to get up if you want your presents."

"You can just bring them to me."

"I can't carry all of them."

Serenity peeked one blue eye out from under the covers. "Are these _good_ presents?" she asked suspiciously.

"I thought I saw a first edition shoujo manga in there."

She lifted her tousled silver head and regarded him seriously. "If you're fibbing, I'm going to be _very upset_ with you."

He raised a hand solemnly, blue eyes dancing with laughter. "Hand to God."

She sat up and folded the golden satin comforter over in front of her. "And who exactly is going to be there while I open these presents?"

Endymion shrugged. "You. Me. Chibi-Usa, Ami, Rei, Makoto, and Minako. I think Haruka and Michiru were going to try to make it in, but I'm not sure if they're here yet. And you never know when Pluto's going to pop in."

"…That's it?"

He nodded an affirmative.

"No cameras? No press? No," her cheek twitched " _ribbons?_ "

Endymion shook his head.

A beat of silence passed before Serenity asked suspiciously, "I can go in my pajamas?"

He nodded.

"I don't have to dress up for anyone? I can leave the crown in its case?" She paused. "Okay, how did you manage this?"

He laughed. "I'm the king, Usako, I don't have to ask for permission." It was his turn to pause. "Minako said it was okay."

She lifted her arms and cheered. "Well then, what are we still waiting for Mamo-chan? I have presents to open!"

Serenity leapt from the bed in her pink flannel pajamas and donned her bunny slippers. She ran past her husband, grabbing his hand, and dragging him behind her.

This birthday thing was looking up.


	21. 3rd U_M anniversary: Presents

Mamoru was bad at buying gifts. It was something Usagi knew, but accepted as his loving girlfriend.

The first thing he'd ever given her was a Fruit of the Month club subscription. It was just after they'd started dating, so she could understand it, she guessed. There was, after all a lot of pressure for him to live up to after discovering the whole destined soul mate thing. And here was a gift that said, "I want to be around to see you discover a new fruit every month, but hey, I'm not ready to get you a ring yet and this way you'll at least be healthy while I figure this whole thing out."

A bunch of small gifts came next. A gift card to a bookstore. A beginner's yoga kit. Meditation CDs. A certificate to a store that he had been horrified to learned was… well, less than proper. These, she rightfully assumed, had her friends behind them. Not his fault.

Her last birthday gift had been a truly horrendous necklace, made up of silver and chunky rose quartz rocks. A definite step up from the fruit club, but still something Usagi wore only when he mentioned it. See, now _this_ was a gift that said "I love you, I'm committed, I have zero fashion sense… you like pink, right?"

Lately, Mamoru had taken to gifting her with random things that "reminded him of her." This meant that Usagi was amassing quite a collection. There was the cheap rose-scented perfume that smelled more like ethyl alcohol when sprayed, the moonscape poster that she might have liked if it had been in watercolors or something, and a Sailor Moon plushie that made her look fat.

Usagi stared at the latest contribution he'd just handed her. It was a screen-printed fitted tee with a scene of bunnies in a meadow gracing its front. The rabbits' sky glittered with rhinestones and sparkles.

Minako would never let her live it down. Rei would tease her for a year _at least_.

She looked from the T-shirt to his earnest blue eyes. Sighing, she leaned in for a thank you kiss.

The things she would do for this man.


	22. 3rd U_M anniversary: Carols

Once a year, usually in the summer months, the Crown Arcade sponsored a charitable venture. The method changed annually, as did the chosen recipient, but customers had never complained before. _How nice_ , they thought, _that the Crown wants to give back to the community. How nice it is that the owners are so_ giving, _so_ sweet.

But the philanthropy had never been "Cut the Carols" before.

On June 25th, Motoki donned an elf's cap and a cycle of the most irritating Christmas carols he could think of was put on loop. 'Christmas Don't Be Late,' 'Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer,' and 'Wonderful Christmastime' were only a few of the gems he'd dug up.

"Cut the Carols!" the oversized blonde elf bellowed, ringing a bell and grinning maniacally. "500 yen stops the music for 5 minutes!"

Mamoru cradled his head with both hands and tried to block out the music with his elbows. "Motoki," he ground out through gritted teeth. "I will give you five hundred _thousand_ yen if you will turn that crap off for the rest of the day."

Motoki shot him a grin and plunked coffee down before him. Mamoru sipped gratefully. "Can't do it, Mamoru-kun. I don't know how much money I'll make without your contribution. Who's to say I'm not doing the Children's Hospital a disservice by accepting?"

"You're doing my eardrums a disservice by refusing."

"Ah," Motoki said with a smirk, pointing towards the double glass doors. "But I'm doing your eyes a favor."

Mamoru turned to see Usagi bounce in, doing her best to tug down the skirt that was doing nothing to cover her long, _loooong_ legs. The skirt was pink velvet, lined with white fur and she was also wearing a matching tank top and Santa hat.

"Where did you want me to collect donations, Motoki-san?" she chirped. He pointed to the arcade area. Her blue eyes narrowed as she shot Mamoru a disdainful look in greeting. "Baka," Usagi said coolly.

Mamoru stared wordlessly.

"Oookay," she said, turning to Motoki. Her pigtails flew. "I'm a little weirded out… Motoki-san, did the Baka finally go mute?"

"No, Usagi-chan," Motoki said solemnly. "He just got a serious shock."

"Oh." She cast him a sympathetic look and laid a tentative hand on his shoulder. Mamoru's eyebrows shot up and he straightened his spine. "I hope everything's alright Baka-san. Just listen to the music! Cheer up!" She swished her hips to the beat of the music. "Fa la la la la, la la la la," she sang under her breath, moving to her assigned station.

Mamoru's eyes remained trained on the petite blonde. Her hips were still moving in time with the music as she began to ring a bell and take up Motoki's war cry. "Motoki," Mamoru croaked. "I will pay double any donation as long as you do _not_ shut that off."

Motoki handed him earplugs, which Mamoru gratefully accepted. "Had a feeling you'd change your tune."

"Shut up."

"You're welcome."

Mamoru ignored him, choosing instead to put the earplugs in. "Please, Christmas," he murmured, still watching Usagi. " _Don't_ be late."


	23. 3rd U_M anniversary: Christmas Trees

Christmastime had always been bittersweet for Mamoru. He didn't have a family to share the occasion with. He had never, to his recollection, woken up and gone running into his parents' bedroom to jump on their bed and excitedly proclaim that Santa had been there. There had never been a pile of Christmas presents for him under the tree.

He was there instead.

Mamoru's favorite Christmas trees had always been the pines. He'd loved to lie beneath them, resting his head on the bare tree skirt and looking up into the dark green needles. The scent of evergreen tickled his nostrils, the needles rustled against each other, whisper-quiet, and Mamoru closed his eyes and listened to them speak to him. The needles sounded like wind chimes in his mind: they tinkled gently and teased him. They giggled, but were simultaneously soothing. _You're not alone,_ they seemed to say as the pine needles fell down on him in a soft evergreen rain.

"Mamo-chan?"

Mamoru's eyes snapped open from where he'd been laying beneath this year's tree. Usagi had insisted that his apartment looked too bare during the holiday seasons, and while he absolutely would _not_ allow her to festoon his living room with statues of jolly old Saint Nick, he had conceded to a Christmas tree (…and one sprig of mistletoe).

Usagi walked into Mamoru's apartment. She was dressed warmly in a red sweater and jeans, a black coat thrown on over it. The spare key that she had only recently been gifted with was still clutched in her hand. In her other hand she held a sack filled with brightly-colored packages. She tilted her head curiously.

"Mamo-chan? What are you doing down there?"

Mamoru blinked at her from where he still lay, his arms a pillow beneath his head. "Um. Listening?"

Usagi set the sack aside. "I'll have to put the presents under there later." She kicked off her shoes and plopped to the floor, scooting forward until she reached the tree. She stopped and peered under the branches at Mamoru, who only stared back at her. She wiggled her way under the tree and laid her head on Mamoru's chest.

"Ah—Usako?" His arms encircled her automatically. He looked down at the blonde head resting quite comfortably on him. "What—

She swatted his stomach absentmindedly. "Hush, Mamo-chan," she said, eyes closed. Her head rose and fell with each one of his breaths. "I'm listening too."


	24. 3rd U_M anniversary: Church

It had been a long time since Mamoru had been inside of a church.

He didn't exactly have any beef with the big man upstairs, but He clearly wasn't working for Mamoru either. His parents had been taken from him, stolen away much like his memories. Mamoru'd had to work for every penny he'd ever earned. He wasn't doing Mamoru any favors, so Mamoru certainly wasn't going to go out of his way for Him.

But when Mamoru was walking down the street one ordinary day, a failed test paper nailed him right between the eyes. He let his eyes drift forward to the blonde ahead of him, whose pigtails were swinging back and forth with the sway of her hips.

As Mamoru opened his mouth to call ahead to her, he made a mental note to attend church the next day.

He had a feeling Heaven's head honcho had just done him a solid.


	25. 3rd U_M anniversary: Snow

"Odango," Mamoru's voice was hopelessly amused. "What on earth are you doing?"

Usagi looked up from her position over her breakfast. Her waffles had been systemically decimated, torn into pieces and stacked into a dome. Her tongue poked out of the side of her mouth in concentration and her blue eyes darted over to Mamoru once before dismissing him and returning to the mutilation of her meal. "Go away, Baka-san," she said absentmindedly. "Can't you see that I'm busy?"

"I see that," he said slowly, taking a seat across from her in the booth. "With what exactly?"

Usagi set aside her fork (or, as Mamoru had privately began to think of it, her murder weapon). "Breakfast," she said with great patience, "sucks."

He blinked.

"I'm trying to eat food that I don't really want yet because I woke up not that long ago. I'm still tired. I still want to be in bed. I have this constant thought in my mind that this food would taste _so_ much better after a couple more hours of sleep." She glared down at her plate and continued. "So, this pile of waffles is really _not_ that interesting to me. It doesn't excite me. And, as I'm sure _you_ know--"

"--Food _always_ excites you."

She shot Mamoru a venomous look. "You didn't need to chime in there, we all know it's true, I _don't need to be reminded of that._ "

His lips twitched. "So you're trying to make your waffles more exciting?"

She nodded.

"More interesting?"

Another nod.

"By putting them in a pile?"

Usagi picked up her fork again. "It is a _hut,_ " she said with great dignity.

Mamoru looked thoughtfully at said "hut." He reached across the table and grabbed a can of whipped cream. The hut was sprayed generously, despite Usagi's indignant gasp. A nearby packet of sugar was torn open and sprinkled it on top, on the sides, and around the waffle bits. She snatched it out of his hands.

"Baka-san, what are you _doing?"_

Mamoru looked at Usagi's plate. Waffle squares were piled on top of each other. Whipped cream fairly dripped down from them. Granules of sugar were littered about the surface of the plate.

"It's a snowscape," he said seriously.

She looked at him. "A snowscape," she repeated flatly.

"Uh-huh. See the igloo?"

Usagi wrinkled her nose and threw her napkin at him as he burst out laughing. Giggles overtook her a moment later and she ate the remainder of her meal in companionable silence broken only by an occasional snort from Mamoru's side.

Well… _he_ certainly thought breakfast had been interesting.


	26. 3rd U_M anniversary: Stars

The first time he'd met her, Mamoru saw red.

To be precise, it was a red 'F,' followed by a stain of red on her cheeks. He, who was usually so calm, so collected, had somehow found himself red in the cheeks as well, shouting at this girl who was only a stranger. When she'd finally stormed away, he'd been left shaking his head in wonder, glad to see her go. She had only upset his control. He'd walked away, the haze of red fading from his vision. He'd never anticipated that the encounter would become so commonplace over the next few weeks, every time he went to see Motoki in fact, but that was fine. The important thing was he was still ultimately in control.

Another time they'd met on the street, Mamoru had sworn he'd seen canaries.

The little yellow birds had flitted about his head, the direct after-effects of a shoe to the forehead. Worried blue eyes had popped in his field of vision as he lay on the sidewalk, only for him to be dismissed. "Oh, it's just you."

And he welcomed back that red, the red that clouded his vision and his judgment and his sense of time. Usagi had no way of knowing that that was what she did to him. His eyes swam with anger, he couldn't _see_ straight, and he just wanted to _grab_ her and wipe that little smirk off.

And before he was quite sure of what he was doing, he had her gripped by the shoulders and hauled up against him. The smirk was gone now and all traces of amusement had left her face. Her eyes searched his and he watched, fascinated, as her pulse beat a frantic tattoo in her neck.

Her voice was hushed, an inquisitive whisper. "Mamoru-s--"

She got no further. Her voice was silenced abruptly by his mouth on hers. His hand kneaded the small of her back. The other tugged at her hair. His arms around her were like steel bands and his lips moved over hers with fervor, the pressure such that Usagi was certain her lips were bruising, but she just couldn't seem to care. Her hand knotted in his hair and his arms around her were no longer necessary as she pressed her body to his, urgent—

He broke away, panting.

Usagi stared at him. Her face was flushed; not red, but a delicate pink. She was breathless and her hair was mussed and she was blinking like an owl and she looked beautiful.

"Mamoru—what--"

His lips descended on hers again, a gentle caress this time. She sighed and languidly wound her arms around his neck, eyes closed, relaxing into it.

The first time he'd kissed her, Mamoru saw _stars._


End file.
